You may not have expected to meet change, or be challenged, in your relationship. Things you don’t expect can be scary, and may have thrown you off your center. When you meet challenges in your relationships, you have a choice: you can run, you can collapse under the weight of your discomfort and shut down, or you can choose to work through the adversity you’re facing.
We all start relationships of any sort—whether friendships, romantic relationship or even work relationships—with a certain amount of optimism. In your own relationships, it’s likely you have found this to be true. As different factors come into play, however, and begin to influence the tone of the relationship, you may have found things changing for you, as well as your personal and social connections.
At their most basic, relationships are about balance. If you’re struggling with your relationship in the moment, it’s likely because it’s out of balance—and that can actually be a good thing. You can’t have light without darkness, you can’t experience peace, joy and fulfillment without experiencing strife, sadness and lack. Bringing your relationship back into balance is not about fixing something that’s broken, it’s about embracing both sides of a whole and bringing them together.
With that in mind, when you let the perceived negatives in your relationship overtake the known positives, you are giving up your power. It may well be the other person in the relationship is also giving up their power, and so you both find yourself at an impasse characterized by friction and discord, rather than connection and harmony. When we finally decide to no longer be controlled by our negativity, we have an opportunity to regain our power, both personally and in connection, creating an even more complete balance in our lives.
The heart of this re-balancing relies on communication and choice. The two people in the relationship need to choose to communicate in a way that breaks down the barriers they have created or that have landed on them, to forge a new reality and a new relationship. This means also choosing transparency, authenticity, honesty and a willingness to exercise empathy—and even compassion—with one another.
If you find yourself struggling with your relationships—at home, in your family, with your friends or at work—taking a step back may help you to see that what you’re feeling is not fear, anger, loss or frustration, but simply a lack of balance. At Kaizen Mental Health Center, we are here to provide you with an emotionally comfortable and accommodating online space to help guide you through the process of reconnection and rebuilding.